I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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