I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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