i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
