doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
