I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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