There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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