is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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