Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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