He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
