Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
