her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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