I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
