I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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