soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
