Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
