you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
