we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I would ride that face into the sunset
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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