I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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