what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
