Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
