well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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