I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
