Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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