Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
