its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
