she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
