Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
