How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
