told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
as a side note pls kill me
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
