You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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