She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
