Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
