He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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