Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
