Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
