I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
