What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
