i need an iv and a liver transplant
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
