We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
