yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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