i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
