Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
