is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
