can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
