so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
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