I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
