the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
