You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
