remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
