I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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