he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
