Whod you bang
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My pussy is not your playground.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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