he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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