what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
What drink are we having for lunch?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
