i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
