yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
