tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
