Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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