This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
