the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
