My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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