billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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