Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
We smell like vodka and hangover
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