Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
