you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The feeling are messing with the penis
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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