sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
