I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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