I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
