It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
