I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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