Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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