Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Boobs speak an international language.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
