I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
