If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
