All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
